Dating Tips For Men: Your Ego Won’t Accept

There are a lot of changes going on in the society we live in. Some good; others not so much. Among the good is the breaking of certain stereotypes when it comes to man woman relationships. This is in large part due to not only the battles that were fought by previous generations but also the economic situations we find ourselves currently living under.  Decades ago a certain truth with sharp elbows forced its way into many relationships. What was it? That to make ends meet, let alone prosper, it would be necessary for both parties to earn a paycheck. That basic reality filtered into just about every aspect of society including dating.

But old habits and customs die hard. In a number of social circles, men are still supposed to be the breadwinners as well as the gentleman which mean on a date they are expected to pay the tab regardless of how expensive things get.  It also does not help matters that there are still a number of women out there who go right along with this myth. They’ve been told by their mother, grandmother any other female relative as well as all their buddies that it is only proper that the man fork over the cash. Anything less is not acceptable. 

Yet when a woman who has thrown off that stereotype offers to pick up the check or at least pay for her half of the date, the suggestion is dismissed. Even if a man’s finances are hovering close to empty, he would rather wash dishes in the restaurant kitchen than have the women foot the bill.

For some men if the unthinkable does happen it becomes a blow to their ego or a test of their manhood. This can have a profound impact on not only the rest of the date but the future of the entire relationship.

That real or imaginary trial by fire is getting an extra dose of kerosene otherwise known as a recession.  In her article for The Boston Globe appropriately titled “Can’t Buy Me Love”, Meredith Goldstein writes, “Some singles have taken themselves out of the running for love during this recession.”

For some men it still comes down to an old fashioned notion that when they take a woman out they always pay for the date. 

Being old-fashioned is all well and good for some things but when it comes to dating there have been a number of rule changes.

If the lady in your life is doing a little better than you are economically, than be thankful. It does not mean you should become bum extraordinaire and start hitting her up for cash every chance you get. Nor does it mean that she picks up the tab and starts lauding it over you; making digs subtle or blatant about your current situation. No one should have to put up with that.

It does mean however that if she feels good about you and the direction of the relationship than accept what is being offered without the ego driven need to feel obligated to pay her back.

This isn’t about having a crutch. If one person is down it is up to the other person to help out wherever possible. That’s what healthy relationships are supposed to be; a meeting of equals who share the good times and the ungood.

So stop thinking about how her generosity makes you look. Instead concentrate on other aspects of the date. If the two of you are laughing, relaxed and feeling good about each other than who does or doesn’t pay the tab is nothing more than an unimportant formality.

Dating Tips for Men: What Is Her Problem?

From where you sit everything looks okay. You more often than not have a blast every time you and your girlfriend get together. The relationship in your opinion is hitting on all cylinders. So it’s understandable that you just don’t get it. You have done everything within your power to please your date and she is still not happy. That’s not to say she is miserable all the time. The two of you are still together. You like her and she has on more than a few occasions expressed her feeling towards you. 

But there are some things men do that really grate on women (no kidding right?). It’s not that these things cause women to end the relationship immediately. They may suffer through it silently, give you some subtle or not so subtle hints as to the nature of the problem or state it outright but for whatever reason it is just not registering with you.  It could be that whole men are from Mars, women are from Venus thing. We have all heard the rumors. 

Still there are a few things you need to be careful about when it comes to your dating relationship.

1. Showing Off

Very few people enjoy being around a braggart. Sure it’s okay to talk about the incredibly good things going on in your life. But many times the conversation can be about what’s going on in her life and yet you still find a way to turn the discussion back towards you.

May be you don’t say much of anything but when you go out, your date catches you strutting like a peacock. You are just too cool for words. Women are very good at noticing things and reading body language is one of them.

2. Chivalry On Life Support

It’s a new era as far as many of us are concerned. If women want to be treated as equals that’s okay with you but it’s not all gravy so they have to learn to take the good with the bad when it comes to equal treatment.

Scores of men miss the point about this. Women have always wanted to be treated as equals but that does not mean you stop treating them like ladies. In quite a few surveys women mention things like opening doors for them, helping them on with their coats or when walking together making sure she walks to the inside. They are such little tidbits that it’s no big deal one way or another. Right?   

Wrong. The fact that women talk about these things means that they are a big deal. Besides if acting like a gentleman can score you bonus points with your girlfriend then do it.

3. You Were Listening. Sort of. 

This is the one that probably does it for women more than showing off and lack of chivalry. Mainly because it sends out a couple of unmistakable signals: One is you have no respect for what she has to say and two, she is really not worth listening to. You may not mean any of those things but that is how it is coming across. If you want to put the future of your relationship in jeopardy then this is the way to do it.

We are who we are and there are some women who hold the flawed notion that they can change the man they are with so as to make him more suitable to their taste. That of course is a blueprint for trouble. But there is nothing wrong with practicing a little humility, good manners and better listening skills. Making her happy by doing the little things can only be to your benefit.

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